Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are said to be
Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two,
There’s a rumor around that can’t be true
That man descended from our noble race
The very idea is a great disgrace."

"No monkey has ever deserted his wife
Starved her babies and ruined her life
And you’ve never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk
Or pass from one on to another
Till they scarcely knew who is their mother."

"Here’s another thing a monkey won’t do
Go out at night and get in a stew
Or use a gun or club or knife
To take some other monkey’s life
Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss
But, brother, he didn’t descend from us.